To Tune A Heart

Thank God that terrible writer's strike is over. Now we can look forward to fantastic Hollywood movie releases such as this summer's romantic hit, "To Tune A Heart." Brian Cox stars as a lonely piano tuner who falls in love with a young customer of his, a beautiful concert pianist played by Scarlett Johansson. At first, Cox's character (probably named something like Richard) is afraid to show his feelings being that he's at least 40 years older than Scarlett Johansson's character, Victoria. Richard comes and goes each month without saying a word to Victoria. Eventually though, he witnesses Victoria's alcoholic father beating her for not playing a song well enough. Richard steps in and attempts to stop Victoria's father (played by the guy who played the bad guy in The Matrix) from hurting her. However, the guy from The Matrix gets violent with Richard, and Richard must defend himself with his trusty piano tuning instrument. During a sprawl between the two old men's body doubles, the alcoholic father falls on top of the piano tuning instrument and dies. Richard apologizes to Victoria, but she says she is grateful. They then realize that they must run away to avoid either the police arresting Richard, or the mafia. The father has some mafia ties somehow. It will be loosely explained right after he dies.

Richard and Victoria run away to Victoria's mother's house in the country. Oh, by the way, this is a period piece. It takes place in England in some century before electricity; not really important which century, just know that the costumes are to die for. Anyway, when in the country, we will get to witness the Oscar winning scene where Victoria's mother questions why Victoria has run away with an old man, and Victoria answers, "I don't know... I believe... my heart was once out of tune, and now... I hear the music of love clearly." You will be seeing that in the trailer, I promise.

The movie then goes back into the city when the King's piano goes wildly out of tune, and Richard is called in to fix the problem. While there, Richard hears the King's personal musician play, and casually mentions to the King that he knows a pianist that is much better, and he can have her perform for the King tomorrow. The King is intrigued, and has Victoria play a set for him. Victoria does a fantastic job, and eventually she has to perform for the King's daughter's wedding. The King goes all out for the wedding performance, and brings in the world's oldest and rarest Arabic piano from some country that no longer exists. There's one problem though, the piano is so old that it appears to be untunable. Don't worry though, movie lovers, Richard saves the day and tunes the piano just in time for the wedding. Everything goes perfectly, and Richard and Victoria become famous and get to live in the castle for the rest of their years. It's an emotional ending, to be sure.

Expected Box Office Take: 8 million dollars. Scarlett Johansson will bring in younger viewers, and Brian Cox will scare them away.

Soundtrack: Provided by some 40 year old pale woman with really long hair from some crappy European country.

I'll be back with another movie prediction later this week.